quinta-feira, 9 de abril de 2009

What Google Says of Us

Anna is ...sexy ...the answer ...a high-level programming language ...a palindrome ...a stool pigeon.

Anna thinks ...sheep are funny ...no one can see her ...I'm the cutest baby ever ...she's a hawk ...I neglect her.

Anna needs ...to be excused from class today ...whatever sense of humor works for her ...to find a toilet ...caffeine ...a drummer.

Anna wants ...to be famous ...to do too many things at once, to do any of them with much verve ...to be next to Daniel ...to break free ...a Margarita-filled wedding.

David is ...the devil ...clearly suggesting that he has transcended the physical world ...Goliath ...a hypocrite ...a record-breaker.

David thinks ...you're stupid ...he's frightened? ...he's above the law ...something is dumb ...that daylight savings time is the best thing ever.

David needs ...a wash! ...more money ...your story ...prayer! ...a doctor.

David wants ...to essentially hijack the current Domain Name System ...to work with J-Lo ...to go [and] ...you to join him ...to rewind gay rumours.

Samuel is ...the best thing that happened to the Earth's profile ...a major risk ...called ...doing fine ...a shutdown star.

Samuel thinks ...it is fun to be one! ...China is being hypocritical ...crayons are more nutritious ...about sport's most pressing questions ...he's hilarious.

Samuel needs ...our help!! ...a home! ...to feed his family ...a wife!!! ...an assistant to count up to 20.

Samuel wants ...to be traded ...YOU! ...Germany ...to stay ...to get paid.

Samuel knows ...I have a strategy ...German and English ...to ask God ...numbers ...first time home buyers are often eligible for special mortgage programs from lenders that want to promote home ownership.

Dee is ...now safe ...rude about others ...not Eric Franklin ...in the Oscar spotlight ...37cm tall.

Dee thinks ...Pop-Tart news is LOL ...herself more educated, more fashionable, and more eminent ...so highly of this film ...Charlie is suddenly being nice and has just developed a conscience ...it may be raining and windy out ...they need to start planning for their future, like getting a job and settling down.

Dee needs ...a bigger trophy cabinet ...more beer ...signatures ...help ...lots of spaghetti.

Dee wants ...to be back in 2012 ...to rock again ...to know what you are doing today? ...more than that ...to turn into museum pieces.

Dee knows ...how to throw a party ...the source of their panic ...she's a little different ...how being homeless works ...the importance of having self-belief and facing your fears.

sábado, 7 de março de 2009

My new best friend

I killed them. all of them. Yes, I am evil. but hey, those mosquitoes can become very pesky!



Here is the 'shortened' tale. Sitting at the table two days ago, eating with mum (or maybe it was just yesterday...). I feel bites on my leg. I get annoyed. I slap the bug. More of them, mom takes out the fly-swatter!!!! 
but it's not your original fly swatter. It's a battery-powered one. I swing around with it, holding down the button and kill some of those nasty things.  I look up at the ceiling. aha, thats where they all come from! they grow on the ceiling!!  So i get up on my chair and zap their wits out. I kill a billion gnats too, just for the fun of it. Without finishing my food, I go around the whooooole kitchen, getting onto chairs, crouching under cupboards. I swat without even seeing if there's anything. I hear some crackling nonetheless. they're burning. BUUUUURN!!! 
soon i smell smoke. And I look at the little sparks on the swatter. One of them is still being electrocuted to its death. I watch.
Mom finishes my fun saying: 'Finish eating!' and so i do, fly swatter in hand. I'm done and glare at the air, searching for more victims. There's no more left in this little cozy, now mosquito-less room, but the rest of the house must be full of them! So we finish the table and I look around the living room. Sure enough, those little dastards are trying to get away by hidding on the ceiling. But they are no match for my weapon.
I think the world's mosquito population must've diminished by at least 1%. Not really, but you get the picture. 
it is not long for me to find very resistant mosquitoes. They get trapped on the fly swatter, get half-dead, and still persist in frying! Man, those guys must have some juice to boil! There was one that would fry for some time (i see the light and hear the crackle), but kept on burning! I would release the button and would still see it move! So i shake the swatter and press down the button, and it emits some light and crackles once again. I'm serious: i walk into the dark, shake the thing and press the button, and i can see some in front of me! maybe we might want to start making some mosquito-powered lightbulbs... 
There was this one that wouldn't stop smoking. I pressed the button down for at least ten seconds and that thing let out a trendle of thick grey smoke. then it finally gave up and died. It smelled awful. 
I walked up to a corner on the ceiling and there were like, 5 of them just congregated in that one spot! i'm afraid i might've interrupted a meeting of some sort. Maybe on how to bite people more succesfully. Freaky. 

So it is not hard to understand why the eletric fly swatter has soon become a great friend of mine. When it's not there, i really miss it. I think i might start sleeping with it in my hand.
I wave that thing, I smell the smoke, i see their little bodies getting fried as they get fed with that little amount of electricty, I hear the crackle...and i'm happy. I think i'm in love.

I wonder why those things only attack humans. Its all the animals' fault! they cheat: they have natural fur to cover them. So maybe i should shave my yorkshire bare and see what happens. 


mischief done, mischief appreciated. 
*over and out


-Kid Sister

quarta-feira, 25 de fevereiro de 2009

Camp, Cats, and What Not

At last, Carnaval has arrived, and we find ourselves swept off our feet to church camp.



Hero Dinner. Must admit, I was not the least bit excited to dress up as any sort of hero for dinner for two reasons: (1) they were supposed to be our childhood heroes and mine is Ariel (the little mermaid)... hence, for undecency reasons, I avoided waltzing about in nothing but a bikini and fishtail, and (2) i was feeling grumpy and lazy. In the end, we all did dress up, including David who also had absolutely no intention of dressing up whatsoever. Here are the characters we posed ourselves as:
  • Anna as the notorious and yet unstereotypical bellyless Winnie the Pooh
  • Hendrika as a shorthaired, magicless version of the Adam's family Morticia
  • David as a curlyhaired but impressively well impersonated L from Deathnote
  • Nathalia (NatiE) as a ready-to-fight Sailor Venus.
  • Natalia (Titosa) as a lovely and charming Indian Jasmine.
  • Julia as a very pink, white, and fru-fru Sakura Cardcaptor.





Neither Anna nor Julia nor I had the intestines to parade down the hall and compete for the prizes, so we just sat and applauded our way through the presentations. David and NatiE, on the other hand, marched up to the jury with confidence and style. See below (ignore the bad film quality, I was in a bad position and state of mind to do any decent filming).

video video

The Pool. The only thing I am capable of reporting about pool time are two episodes. The first was our pathetic and sad attempt at having a nice swim at night. I was eager to get into the pool, but it seemed no one else, save the 12-year-olds, was as excited. Meaning, instead of having a nice swim and chat in the water, I played the babysitter for two shrilly girls... one of which found it a blast to play carry-and-dunk-the-Drika for half the time. All the while, Natie and David sat on the edge of the pool talking, Anna and Julia didn't want to swim, and Titosa was playing Fogo no Paiol elsewhere. I had been abandoned by my friends. The second episode I merely witnessed audibly (David can report it a little better later on), as I heard my beloved brother scream "I'm a SHAAAAARK!!!" repeatedly, followed by a violent SPLASH! and another "I'm a SHAAAAAAAAARKK!!" At first, I believed him to be running around and pushing people in, but it seems he was hurling himself in instead.

The Late Nights. Trying to sleep the last night was a wee bit frustrating as no one had really decided on the latest someone could go to bed. Meaning, in our room, there were the 1am girls, the 2am girls, the 3am girls, and the crazed 5 and 6am girls. I was in the first group of 1am girls (and that was pushing it for me). Unfortunately, the 6am girls had forgotten their cell phones on and around the room with alarm clocks set. Hence, at 5:40am, a sudden music began from one part of the room. Several girls began complaining. "Who's is that?!" "Shut it off!!" but the 6am girls weren't around. So, I got up and ran for the cell phone, yanked it out the plug where it was recharging and starting clicking like mad. I managed to snooze it, but didn't know how to turn it off. For some mad reason, I read the name "Pri" on the little screen, and instantly thought, "This must be Julia's cell phone!" I placed the cell phone next to Julia's pillow, in hopes that when it began ringing again, she'd have the decency of turning it off. As you are all much smarter than I am, you know that that obviously did not happen, and when the alarm started going off again, I grunted from my bed, "Ju... turn it off please..." She sounded surprised and confused, "But how...! How do I turn this off? Who's cell phone is this?" I feel really bad.

Those are but a few stories from camp.

Announcing that there are two new kittens at home with the sole function of scaring off the rats and saving our bananas. I have dubbed them Ron and Ginny Weasley (don't believe a word David tells you about their names). If you've got a problem with their Harry Potter names, well, I just don't like you. :P


Off I goes to tend to my duties.
*cheers
dee

sábado, 14 de fevereiro de 2009

Nonchalantness

Sibling: The Most Beautiful Eldest Sister of Them All (and Most Modest, too)
Mood: Peaceful
Song: Chocolate by Snow Patrol
Eating: Chocolate
Drinking: Chocolate milk
Real mood: Hyper (but I'm too lazy to show it)

photo by me

Last Sunday, a waiter stole my mushroom. And, for some completely nonsensical reason, I recall a middle school trend back in 1998 or something, where we would answer MUSHROOM! to everything - it was a very cool thing to do - ...as opposed to saying ALL OF THEM! as my dearest brother Samuel has the mind to do every so always.

So this waiter, he stole my mushroom. They say, leave the best for last, right? I was doing that. That was the biggest, fattest, juiciest slice of champignon Anna had left on her plate. And it was all mine for the savoring. I wanted it, badly. And then, the waiter swiftly and professionally snapped the plate up, and I was left with my eye on an empty table space. I admit it was worth the laugh but...

My boxer peed on Anna's yorkshire. Honestly! Anna told me all about it. Ask her. He just sniffed the pup and raised his leg like he would on a tree. And Navy/Pepper/Chewbacca (the Yorkshire) just stood there, unaware of what was happening to her. I thank God I don't have fur. It would be so dreadful to take care of, aye?

I'd like to announce that absolutely nothing amazing or fantastic at all has happened to me this week. But it probably is happening to my brother as I speak. He has left for the Candlelight Dinner with a small box containing two rings in his pocket. He is proposing to a dearest little girl of his class. In dateship, of course, not marriage. How do you say that anyway?

I have posted several new pictures on DeviantArt :) Do check them out and... I dno... flatter me or something. Honest, it's good for your health. My latest below:

photo by me

I don't know, but... maybe nothing. She and he don't really whatever. I need a splash of warm rain. And three red roses. It's Valentine's, duh?

Mood: Cold (it can be a mood, believe me)
Song: Dreams by the Cranberries
Eating: Nothing, I promise
Drinking: Saliva mixed with tidbits of melted chocolate that were stuck in btwn my teeth
Real mood:
C'mon...

xoxox
*dee

Too useless to put my picture up. Since this post is only about me and almost all about me, with a few exceptions, kudos to the person who comments on something other than me.

segunda-feira, 2 de fevereiro de 2009

Towels and Cookies

Topics to be explored today: Anna's New Identity and A Weekend Without Parents.

There are always a gazillion things to do when your parents are not around, especially mischievous things. But as I am only a mischievous-wanna-be, I shall simply let you know of our perfectly well-behaved events during this weekend.

Oh, but I cannot continue without first letting you all know of my sister's recently found identity. You see, lately my brother has been under the impression she resembled a little poopie (not just her, i include myself. But this part is about her, so forget about me). I try hard not to imagine that. Why the connection? you ask. Simple. When our grandparents were here, David had to sleep in our room, and we began a long pointless conversation at night before sleeping. For some reason, Anna said something about pupils, but instead of pronouncing it "pew-pull", she said, "poo-pull". And, obviously, you can all immediately come to the conclusion that "poo-pull" must be related to "poo-poo", which sounds cuter when you pronounce as "poo-pee". This was the logic sequence my brother followed. And he immediately dubbed Anna and I as such "poo-pees". Anyway, the point of this is that Anna is no longer a poopie, but a towel. Sunday morning, as I sat down to have my daily coffee, I overheard something or other in the other room about someone being a towel.

(ME) "Who's a towel?"
(ANNA) "I am."
(DAVID) "Anna is."
(ME) "I thought she was a poopie."
(ANNA) "I was a poopie. Now I'm a towel."
(DAVID) "She was a poopie, but now she's a towel."
(ME) "Why??"
(DAVID) "I confused her for a towel and dried my hands on her face. She got angry."
(ME) "Oh, that happens..."
(DAVID) "Yeah..."
That concludes that story.

What did we do this weekend without our parents, though? Quite simple. What is the most obvious and fun thing you can do without your parents being around?? Invite a friend over and... BAKE COOKIES!! If that isn't mischievous enough, you can always STUFF YOURSELF WITH COOKIES!! and not leave any left for anyone else. And, if you want to be over the top mischievous, you can always rent a PG 18 movie to watch with your 17-year-old friend and your 16-year-old sister. You might get in trouble later, especially if you yourself, um, do not qualify as a responsible adult, but... what?? No, I don't believe I did that! How irresponsible!! What do you take me for? I am 22, but I'd never do such an awful thing! I just let them watch P.S. I Love You (we all spent the movie sighing). I tag Naty here (you so totally love mischief and cookies!) as our cinnamon cookie making accomplice. Her fingers are all guiltily sticky with unbaked cookie dough. You have trouble written all over you, girl!


Anyhow, I leave this post open for comments as to what else we could have done. Anna, David, Sam, any suggestions? If I am not mistaken, this next weekend is also parentless. We need to come up with something horrifically mischievous!!

*cheers
drika (on-a-computer-which-is-sadly-not-hers)

quarta-feira, 28 de janeiro de 2009

It's about time!

Well, let's post the first mischief of this blog, shall we? "FINALLY!! MISCHIEF!!!!!" Yes, yes, I agree. this is what the blog was originally meant to be, right? oh, but don't stop readin! this will be mild, trust me. just some mild meanness coming from the youngest of this boring family that can't even think up decent mischief. let's cut the crap and start.

have you ever heard of a chinese torture in which one is kept in a way that they cannot move? well, i've lived through it. it was horrible. i couldnt reach the bowl of stale bread but i managed to save up saliva so i wouldnt grow thirsty.
...
jk. anyways, being immobilized is not the worst part of it. one has water droplets constantly falling onto their forehead. it does not matter how hard one tries to escape from the reality of their situation, the unrelenting dripping is a dreadful reminder of what they were trying to run away from.


well, i'm not going to be as cruel or extreme as the chinese, but let me propose something to yall readers. kids, dont try this at home. get a deep sleeper when they are dozing off in their usual sunday dozing, or their casual saturday day-time-slumber or.......whatever: any time they're sleeping. night works perfectly fine. poor people! let them sleep! nah...why? where's the fun in that? its just once! look, lets leave them semi-sleeping. half a hole is still a hole, isnt it? theyll still be sleepin. get an iPod or any other cheap mp3 and choose a soft-ish song. not crazy and upbeat enough to wake the person up, but not too soft so that the person will sleep right through the whole thing. when that person is asleep, or almost asleep, put the music on low close to their ear. make sure they sort of wake up (even a groan will do). Then quickly take the music away. do this continuous times and have fun snickering evily at the person as they roll over in their sleep. do that until they finally wake up. when they do and grumpily inquire you about it, deny everything. it was all just a figment of their very fertile imagination! they just dreamt that they were listening to Yellow from Coldplay. they also just dreamt seeing you hovering over them with iPod in hand and a smirk on your face (uh-oh. run!!).

That was a bit of cruelty to you, from Anna Lopes. Stay tuned.
*over and out.


terça-feira, 27 de janeiro de 2009

broken baby

My laptop has gone through a very rough childhood, and now he's acting up. He was dropped off a chair a few days ago. Today, he froze on me, out of the blue. And then, he decided to turn off in my face. Is that what children do? They grow up, and then decide to confront their parents. Well then, my laptop has reached puberty... erm... not in every aspect of the word, but mentally (or softwarely speaking). I put him on time-out for a few minutes, pulled out his battery (the equivalent of grounding, perhaps? no TV? no internet? no battery!), and then returned. The puppy has been working just excellent up to now.

Caution to the reader: If my baby dies, I'm stealing yours.

*cheers

sábado, 24 de janeiro de 2009

Bloody Day

Okay, well, since Anna won't post it, I will.



Today was the day we had to go do medical exams. We had spent over 12 hours without eating and were starving by the time we arrived at the clinic. The place was teeming with people. It didn't seem like we were going to get this done quickly. So we sat and stared for a while until our number popped up on the screen. First of all, I'd like to make it clear that I had no recollection of exactly what exams I was there to do, figured it was just the blood test (oh the thought of it just makes me sweat!). So the lady went through the papers and got my things in order and, when she was done, I said I was going to the bathroom and left. The moment I got into the bathroom, I hear a shouting outside... "HENDRIKA!!" It was my mom. She was hunting me down the clinic, trying to find out what bathroom I was in. Utterly embarassed, I popped my head out of the W.C. and asked what on earth was going on. "You have a urine exam, too!!" she said. "You can't pee!"

There was a whole discussion that followed, but I don't believe, as mischievous and schemeful as this blog might be, that it qualifies to be posted here.

And then, I got poked with the needle. Okay, there was a whole blubbing before that. I sat down nervously. The lady did that torniquet thing around my right arm. I admit, I don't think I'm scared of needles... I'm just incredibly scared of tissue damage, especially along my arm, especially involving bleeding, especially involving seeing the blood!!!! (so speaks the biologist) She asked me what arm I usually drew blood from. I said, "I don't know... I haven't drawn blood in--(she shows the needle; my heart stops, my eyes start watering) oh my goodness, this freaks me out, honestly, it does..." "Don't worry, it doesn't hurt. The needle is much thinner than usual and--" in it goes! All the while, I'm staring at the wall beside me and biting my lip so as not to cry. The tourniquet hurts more than anything. I start wondering how much pressure you need to cut off circulation, how long it would take before the arm became numb, then motionless, then useless, then necrotic. And then it's done, she pulls the needle out, makes sure I see the blood with my name written on it (I feel slightly lightheaded).

I return to the waiting room, and then it is Anna's turn. She goes and comes back a little while later with two bandaids, one on each her arm. Apparently, the woman could not find her vein on one arm, because, apparently, her veins are too thin.

We are not supposed to bend or lift heavy things for an hour after the pricking. So, that meant I only had my left arm to get by with, and Anna had no arms! We left with our arms hanging at our sides pathetically. She wanted to eat a cracker. I had to feed her. She wanted to drink some chocolate. I had to put the cup to her mouth. She wanted to read her book. I had to open it to the right page. I found it completely unfair. We had both been poked, but why the hierarchy amongst the temporarily disabled? -- Oh, I'm twice as temporarily disabled as you are, scratch my nose for me! Sheesh. It could have been me! *rolls eyes*

so that is the tale for today.
*cheers

sexta-feira, 23 de janeiro de 2009

Tuition PWN

I just received an e-mail from Jacobs University in Bremen, Germany. The subject line read "Great news from Jacobs University!". I could tell what was coming--well, kind of. My acceptance wasn't a huge surprise (though it did put me in a state of wild ecstasy), but I was caught by surprise by a 14 thousand euro merit scholarship. I flipped out and sent e-mails to friends and my guidance counselor. I called my love and told her all about it. And I asked my dad, "aren't you proud of meeeeee????"... and then he said we were still 11 thousand dollars short of being able to afford an education at Jacobs. Oh well, at least I still have a chance with need-based aid.

quinta-feira, 22 de janeiro de 2009

The Drop Before the Storm (hopefully)

THIS IS A BLOG OF MISCHIEF. Alright, perhaps not that much mischief, because we're hardly that naughty. In fact, erase that. Let's start again.

THIS IS A BLOG OF FICTIONAL MISCHIEF.

Oh, bother, scratch that. Once again...

THIS IS NOT ONLY A BLOG OF FICTIONAL MISCHIEF, BUT MORE OF RANDOM EVERYDAY STRANGE THOUGHTS. We are baddie wannabe's; we have our fair amount of gruesome thoughts, but also a plateful of odd philosophy. We are lightyears ahead of lightyears ago. Our well-behaved role--disguising our suspicious sparks of crazy--in society and family suits us very well. It is the leash on a pitbull, it is the bars of the state prison, it is the... well, you get the picture.

So let me make myself quite clear here. The title of this blog is suggestive. When you picture a child sitting in the corner, what do you imagine? Calvin, naturally! The boy has been unfairly sent to the corner to stare at the wall and ponder over his foolish actions. But, obviously, he is doing no such thing. He is plotting and scheming vengeance.

Of course, we all also have a strange Hobbes sense of reason. Whoever knows when he'll show up? I ramble nonsense.

This is a startup post ;) I'm giving my fellow writers/siblings a boost here to expose their darkest and deepest and most nonsensical thoughts here. Hopefully, they'll bite.

*cheers