quarta-feira, 28 de janeiro de 2009

It's about time!

Well, let's post the first mischief of this blog, shall we? "FINALLY!! MISCHIEF!!!!!" Yes, yes, I agree. this is what the blog was originally meant to be, right? oh, but don't stop readin! this will be mild, trust me. just some mild meanness coming from the youngest of this boring family that can't even think up decent mischief. let's cut the crap and start.

have you ever heard of a chinese torture in which one is kept in a way that they cannot move? well, i've lived through it. it was horrible. i couldnt reach the bowl of stale bread but i managed to save up saliva so i wouldnt grow thirsty.
jk. anyways, being immobilized is not the worst part of it. one has water droplets constantly falling onto their forehead. it does not matter how hard one tries to escape from the reality of their situation, the unrelenting dripping is a dreadful reminder of what they were trying to run away from.

well, i'm not going to be as cruel or extreme as the chinese, but let me propose something to yall readers. kids, dont try this at home. get a deep sleeper when they are dozing off in their usual sunday dozing, or their casual saturday day-time-slumber or.......whatever: any time they're sleeping. night works perfectly fine. poor people! let them sleep! nah...why? where's the fun in that? its just once! look, lets leave them semi-sleeping. half a hole is still a hole, isnt it? theyll still be sleepin. get an iPod or any other cheap mp3 and choose a soft-ish song. not crazy and upbeat enough to wake the person up, but not too soft so that the person will sleep right through the whole thing. when that person is asleep, or almost asleep, put the music on low close to their ear. make sure they sort of wake up (even a groan will do). Then quickly take the music away. do this continuous times and have fun snickering evily at the person as they roll over in their sleep. do that until they finally wake up. when they do and grumpily inquire you about it, deny everything. it was all just a figment of their very fertile imagination! they just dreamt that they were listening to Yellow from Coldplay. they also just dreamt seeing you hovering over them with iPod in hand and a smirk on your face (uh-oh. run!!).

That was a bit of cruelty to you, from Anna Lopes. Stay tuned.
*over and out.

terça-feira, 27 de janeiro de 2009

broken baby

My laptop has gone through a very rough childhood, and now he's acting up. He was dropped off a chair a few days ago. Today, he froze on me, out of the blue. And then, he decided to turn off in my face. Is that what children do? They grow up, and then decide to confront their parents. Well then, my laptop has reached puberty... erm... not in every aspect of the word, but mentally (or softwarely speaking). I put him on time-out for a few minutes, pulled out his battery (the equivalent of grounding, perhaps? no TV? no internet? no battery!), and then returned. The puppy has been working just excellent up to now.

Caution to the reader: If my baby dies, I'm stealing yours.


sábado, 24 de janeiro de 2009

Bloody Day

Okay, well, since Anna won't post it, I will.

Today was the day we had to go do medical exams. We had spent over 12 hours without eating and were starving by the time we arrived at the clinic. The place was teeming with people. It didn't seem like we were going to get this done quickly. So we sat and stared for a while until our number popped up on the screen. First of all, I'd like to make it clear that I had no recollection of exactly what exams I was there to do, figured it was just the blood test (oh the thought of it just makes me sweat!). So the lady went through the papers and got my things in order and, when she was done, I said I was going to the bathroom and left. The moment I got into the bathroom, I hear a shouting outside... "HENDRIKA!!" It was my mom. She was hunting me down the clinic, trying to find out what bathroom I was in. Utterly embarassed, I popped my head out of the W.C. and asked what on earth was going on. "You have a urine exam, too!!" she said. "You can't pee!"

There was a whole discussion that followed, but I don't believe, as mischievous and schemeful as this blog might be, that it qualifies to be posted here.

And then, I got poked with the needle. Okay, there was a whole blubbing before that. I sat down nervously. The lady did that torniquet thing around my right arm. I admit, I don't think I'm scared of needles... I'm just incredibly scared of tissue damage, especially along my arm, especially involving bleeding, especially involving seeing the blood!!!! (so speaks the biologist) She asked me what arm I usually drew blood from. I said, "I don't know... I haven't drawn blood in--(she shows the needle; my heart stops, my eyes start watering) oh my goodness, this freaks me out, honestly, it does..." "Don't worry, it doesn't hurt. The needle is much thinner than usual and--" in it goes! All the while, I'm staring at the wall beside me and biting my lip so as not to cry. The tourniquet hurts more than anything. I start wondering how much pressure you need to cut off circulation, how long it would take before the arm became numb, then motionless, then useless, then necrotic. And then it's done, she pulls the needle out, makes sure I see the blood with my name written on it (I feel slightly lightheaded).

I return to the waiting room, and then it is Anna's turn. She goes and comes back a little while later with two bandaids, one on each her arm. Apparently, the woman could not find her vein on one arm, because, apparently, her veins are too thin.

We are not supposed to bend or lift heavy things for an hour after the pricking. So, that meant I only had my left arm to get by with, and Anna had no arms! We left with our arms hanging at our sides pathetically. She wanted to eat a cracker. I had to feed her. She wanted to drink some chocolate. I had to put the cup to her mouth. She wanted to read her book. I had to open it to the right page. I found it completely unfair. We had both been poked, but why the hierarchy amongst the temporarily disabled? -- Oh, I'm twice as temporarily disabled as you are, scratch my nose for me! Sheesh. It could have been me! *rolls eyes*

so that is the tale for today.

sexta-feira, 23 de janeiro de 2009

Tuition PWN

I just received an e-mail from Jacobs University in Bremen, Germany. The subject line read "Great news from Jacobs University!". I could tell what was coming--well, kind of. My acceptance wasn't a huge surprise (though it did put me in a state of wild ecstasy), but I was caught by surprise by a 14 thousand euro merit scholarship. I flipped out and sent e-mails to friends and my guidance counselor. I called my love and told her all about it. And I asked my dad, "aren't you proud of meeeeee????"... and then he said we were still 11 thousand dollars short of being able to afford an education at Jacobs. Oh well, at least I still have a chance with need-based aid.

quinta-feira, 22 de janeiro de 2009

The Drop Before the Storm (hopefully)

THIS IS A BLOG OF MISCHIEF. Alright, perhaps not that much mischief, because we're hardly that naughty. In fact, erase that. Let's start again.


Oh, bother, scratch that. Once again...

THIS IS NOT ONLY A BLOG OF FICTIONAL MISCHIEF, BUT MORE OF RANDOM EVERYDAY STRANGE THOUGHTS. We are baddie wannabe's; we have our fair amount of gruesome thoughts, but also a plateful of odd philosophy. We are lightyears ahead of lightyears ago. Our well-behaved role--disguising our suspicious sparks of crazy--in society and family suits us very well. It is the leash on a pitbull, it is the bars of the state prison, it is the... well, you get the picture.

So let me make myself quite clear here. The title of this blog is suggestive. When you picture a child sitting in the corner, what do you imagine? Calvin, naturally! The boy has been unfairly sent to the corner to stare at the wall and ponder over his foolish actions. But, obviously, he is doing no such thing. He is plotting and scheming vengeance.

Of course, we all also have a strange Hobbes sense of reason. Whoever knows when he'll show up? I ramble nonsense.

This is a startup post ;) I'm giving my fellow writers/siblings a boost here to expose their darkest and deepest and most nonsensical thoughts here. Hopefully, they'll bite.