Here is the 'shortened' tale. Sitting at the table two days ago, eating with mum (or maybe it was just yesterday...). I feel bites on my leg. I get annoyed. I slap the bug. More of them, mom takes out the fly-swatter!!!!
but it's not your original fly swatter. It's a battery-powered one. I swing around with it, holding down the button and kill some of those nasty things. I look up at the ceiling. aha, thats where they all come from! they grow on the ceiling!! So i get up on my chair and zap their wits out. I kill a billion gnats too, just for the fun of it. Without finishing my food, I go around the whooooole kitchen, getting onto chairs, crouching under cupboards. I swat without even seeing if there's anything. I hear some crackling nonetheless. they're burning. BUUUUURN!!!
soon i smell smoke. And I look at the little sparks on the swatter. One of them is still being electrocuted to its death. I watch.
Mom finishes my fun saying: 'Finish eating!' and so i do, fly swatter in hand. I'm done and glare at the air, searching for more victims. There's no more left in this little cozy, now mosquito-less room, but the rest of the house must be full of them! So we finish the table and I look around the living room. Sure enough, those little dastards are trying to get away by hidding on the ceiling. But they are no match for my weapon.
I think the world's mosquito population must've diminished by at least 1%. Not really, but you get the picture.
it is not long for me to find very resistant mosquitoes. They get trapped on the fly swatter, get half-dead, and still persist in frying! Man, those guys must have some juice to boil! There was one that would fry for some time (i see the light and hear the crackle), but kept on burning! I would release the button and would still see it move! So i shake the swatter and press down the button, and it emits some light and crackles once again. I'm serious: i walk into the dark, shake the thing and press the button, and i can see some in front of me! maybe we might want to start making some mosquito-powered lightbulbs...
There was this one that wouldn't stop smoking. I pressed the button down for at least ten seconds and that thing let out a trendle of thick grey smoke. then it finally gave up and died. It smelled awful.
I walked up to a corner on the ceiling and there were like, 5 of them just congregated in that one spot! i'm afraid i might've interrupted a meeting of some sort. Maybe on how to bite people more succesfully. Freaky.
So it is not hard to understand why the eletric fly swatter has soon become a great friend of mine. When it's not there, i really miss it. I think i might start sleeping with it in my hand.
I wave that thing, I smell the smoke, i see their little bodies getting fried as they get fed with that little amount of electricty, I hear the crackle...and i'm happy. I think i'm in love.
I wonder why those things only attack humans. Its all the animals' fault! they cheat: they have natural fur to cover them. So maybe i should shave my yorkshire bare and see what happens.
mischief done, mischief appreciated.
*over and out